14-year-old constantly insults her friend's parents "white people food" every time she comes over for dinner: 'I’m just really not a fan of being insulted repeatedly.'

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A 14-year-old girl who stays over for dinner at her friend's house, even though she has a lot of negative feelings about her friend's parents' cooking.

Would I be the bad guy if I asked my kids friend to stop making fun of our food?

My kid is 14 and has a cool and diverse group of friends. I really do enjoy them. However, one friend who has been coming over throughout the summer has been making comments about
our food every time she is here. Basically, she makes fun of us for being white people who eat white people food. Sometimes she brings food over from her own culture to share, which is awesome. I think it is
great she loves cooking and sharing her families dishes. The thing is, she makes the snide comments about our food for being "bland, or white," then Says she will bring food over to show us what's good. She isn't
really sharing to be nice, it's like she is trying to expose us to culture and expand our minds because we are so ignorant. She is just 14, so I'm trying to be patient.
We actually love all kinds of cuisine and we love learning recipes from different places. Believe it or not, we even like spicy food. Last time she was here, we made Panang. (Thai curry) She was actually ride about that too and criticized us for
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having limes as an ingredient. The recipe calls for lime juice... Tonight she is here again. My husband and I made tacos. She walks in and starts making fun of us for making "white people taco night." To be fair, we
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know we aren't amazing chefs, but we enjoying cooking for the family and whatever kids show up at the house. I'm just really not a fan of being insulted repeatedly. It's not playful banter that I participate in. It's her making snide comments
about us. The last thing I want to do is mess up my kid's friendship so I have tried ignoring her, but I'm thinking about telling her it's not cool to be insulting and that she doesn't need to come over if she is going to make r de comments about our food. AITA?
Altruistic Fun3091 She's just immature. A non-aggressive "We respect all cultures and their nuances in our home. We'd appreciate you doing the same" might get the message across.
opossomwithwifi Agree with this approach. I've always told my kids and any guests (opposite problem: traditional Chinese dishes) I say "we don't yuck people's yum, if you're not interested you don't have to eat but we don't make derogatory comments about anyone's food"
Fluffy-Fix7583 if i was the guest and i insulted the food the person paying for it... i'd be banned. op is being a saint. definitely tell her to stop or she can just eat at home since she's such a gourmet chef now lol
Elkinthesky I would be a bit more straight forward though still calm in the delivery "That's very r de to say" If she starts getting on her high horse about colonizers food and what not I would shame get with history "poor people in northern Europe survived starvation and famine eating these bland food, while the elites could get their fancy spices. Is it them you're shaming? Do you think poor people traditional food is embarrassing?" Ultimately she's just young and trying to define her identity
Sudden Seaweed3608 She's not just being immature. Saying things like "white people food" and "white people don't know what's good" is exactly the kind of negative remarks that adults make intentionally. She must be hearing it somewhere, and honestly, it's probably coming from her parents. I do agree with the 2nd part of the reply, though
Status-Exit8795 She's 14, so I'd give her some grace, but you're still allowed to set a boundary. I'd keep it simple and non-confrontational: "We're happy to try different foods, but please don't make fun of what we cook. We respect your food and expect the same in our home." That gets the point across without turning it into a bigger issue.
Serious-Big2 How does your child feel about these comments? Does your child have any other problems with this girl? Have you had a discussion with your child? If I were you, I'd start with your child and see how they feel about these comments and take it from there. Me personally, I'd pick this girl up at the time that a comment is made, but I wouldn't want to embarrass my kid.
No-Weakness-5495 OP I'm going to talk to her tomorrow after everyone is gone. She is usually very blunt with her friends when they are out of line, so I am wondering what is up.
Inspiredlikearabbit "Generally, when someone invites you over and cooks you food, its r de to continuously insult said food. If you dont like what we make you dont have to come over but if you are going to stay and eat, no more mean comments" She probably thinks shes being edgy but she needs to learn its just ride
No-Weakness-5495 OP I think you are right. She thinks she is being funny and edgy. But it is neither.
lurking_panda1 Tbh, I would have banned her from my home after the 2nd time. I would let the 1st pass on immaturity, but I'm not going to let a child insult me in my own home while I'm feeding her
Goodbyepuppy92 I'm kinda confused by a lot of these comments that are scripting out whole conversations for OP to use. This is a child and you're an adult. Not everything has to be a dialogue. Just a simple, "R_de comments are not tolerated in this house." And if it happens again, tell your kid that their friend can't come over. Kid can go to the friend's house instead.
Habbekratsje Threathening to ban her from coming over seems a bit much but imo it is perfectly fine to tell her you don't aprreciate a comment in the moment maybe don't mention all the boiled up resentment over the past. Just let her know when she crosses the line in the moment.
No-Weakness-5495 OP Good point. I'm a little overly irritated at the moment since it has been happening a lot.
lemon_charlie I'd suggest inviting her parents over for dinner. That way you can see if she got this from them or if she can actually behave herself as a guest.

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